This Was in the Beginning

John 1:1–6 (ESV)

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

He was in the beginning with God.

All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made.

In him was life, and the life was the light of men.

The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

A Word That Opened the Door

While becoming Catholic, John 1 felt like a clear window into God. It didn’t just speak about Jesus. It revealed Him. It laid out the whole mystery of the faith in a few astonishing lines: eternity, divinity, creation, light, love. There was no other passage that seemed to carry the weight of God’s inner life so simply and powerfully.

While studying the Latin version of the Gospel, a single word stood out. In English, verse two reads, “He was in the beginning with God.” But in Latin it says: Hoc erat in principio apud Deum. Not “he.” This.

The shift from “he” to “this” changed everything. It was like a breath opened up inside the verse, as if the sentence had paused to name something unspeakable.

The Word With God, The Word Is God

The text begins by saying the Word was with God. But the word with here means more than location. It implies orientation, presence, relationship. The Word was not simply near the Father—He was turned toward Him, in perfect union. Then it says: the Word was God.

These two truths—nearness and unity—stand side by side. And in that tension, something holy begins to emerge. The Word is not only divine. He is with God in a way that implies a second. He is also God in a way that implies perfect unity. There is a relationship inside the being of God.

Then comes the final line: This was in the beginning with God.

The Mystery of “This”

In Latin, the word used is hoc, a neuter demonstrative pronoun that means “this.” It doesn’t just point to a person. It points to everything just said. The Word. The Word’s being with God. The Word’s being God.

It is what grammar calls a summative demonstrative—a word that gathers up the fullness of a thought and presents it again as a single reality. So when the verse says hoc erat in principio apud Deum, it doesn’t just refer to Christ as a person. It refers to the entire communion that has just been described.

The Father.

The Word turned toward Him.

The Word who is God.

This—this radiant union—was in the beginning.

The Spirit Revealed in Silence

At this point, the grammar gives way to mystery. The Son is with the Father. The Son is God. And this—this communion, this movement of nearness and oneness—is not just a fact. It is a Person.

The Church has always taught that the love between the Father and the Son is not a feeling or symbol. It is Someone. It is the Holy Spirit.

As the Catechism says:

“God is love: Father, Son and Holy Spirit. God’s very being is love. By sending His only Son and the Spirit of Love in the fullness of time, God has revealed His innermost secret: God Himself is an eternal exchange of love, Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and He has destined us to share in that exchange.”

— Catechism of the Catholic Church, 221

The Gospel doesn’t use the name Spirit here. But He is present. Present in the gaze. Present in the nearness. Present in the word hoc.

The Fire That Was Always There

The Spirit is not an addition. Not an afterthought. Not a distant third. He is what the Father and Son have always shared. The fire between them. The joy that flows out of their love. The movement of God within Himself.

This—what the Latin calls hoc—was in the beginning.

It was not light alone.

It was not Word alone.

It was not love as concept.

It was Love as Person.

The Love who is the Spirit.

The Love who is God.

The Love who was in the beginning.

This Is the Beginning, and the End

The Gospel opens not just with a claim about Jesus, but with a revelation of God’s inner life. The Father and the Word. The union between them. The Spirit who is their shared being. This—this communion of love—was before anything else. And this is the source of all things.

The world was not created by a distant power.

It was created by Love poured out.

It was born from the union of the Word with the Father.

It carries the mark of the Spirit.

Everything begins with this.

And everything is drawn back to this.

To the gaze.

To the fire.

To the love that has no beginning—and no end.